Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Second-year Syndrome

I have made much over this past year of the state of my academic career, particularly in November and March. After some thought, I have realized why I have been as disillusioned as I have been with my Arts experience: I haven't really made it past second year. With all of the program changes and university switches and other factors in life, I haven't really gotten to the point in my arts degree where I have actually had to take much ownership for my learning. For the most part, I have taken the same classes that I actually took in my second year, and I haven't had to really specialize at all. I have gotten through these classes with a fairly basic level of education, and I have not really invested in one subject over others. To be honest, it is amazing that I can actually get a B.A. after all of this random education. I am so grateful that I will have something to show for it.
There are times where I wish that I had the kind of passion for my studies that my more academic friends do. The year where I did experience this kind of passion for my studies was my year in Education, and I do hope to reclaim that passion soon. But the reality is that my efforts have gone into the things that I have viewed as far more valuable, namely my ministry with IVCF. Some of these friends have derided me for not having been more diligent in my studies, but I'm not so sure it's a bad thing. I've been needed other places and for other things, and school just has not been a priority for me, dating back to high school. Is that bad? I don't necessarily think so, but I also do not take my education for granted, either.
I am now at a bit of a new point in life, though. I've been saying "two more years" for three years now, and now I can actually mean it. I do only have two years left, and I will be getting two bachelor's degrees in that time. My hope is that I can actually grow up, and move on from this perpetual second year into my final two years of school. It's a weird paradigm, but it makes sense. And the good news is that this fourth edition of "second year" is just about done. Three weeks to go. Now just to get there.

1 comment:

  1. "Some of these friends have derided me for not having been more diligent in my studies." And their names start with "M" and rhyme with "Baryanne."

    Hey! On the other hand, I just read you integrating some observations I made about you last night. Maybe I'm not always just "talking out of my hat." (Karl-ism)



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